What is the feminine ideal? A Mini-Course on Helen Andelin’s book, “Fascinating Womanhood.”

 “Fascinating Womanhood,” by Helen Andelin, has been worshipped and disdained in equal parts over the many years that it’s been in circulation.  It is basically a book about how to attain the adoration of your husband, by becoming the “ideal woman.”  Not surprisingly, most feminists hate this book.

I love it.  I realize that marriage today has a different balance than it did in the ’60’s (thank heaven), so some of the advice (purposefully losing at tennis to preserve your husband’s dignity, for instance) is no longer relevant to most modern relationships.  Nevertheless, there is so, so much wisdom in its pages.  If the posts under this category spark your interest, I recommend getting a copy of “Fascinating Womanhood” for your own personal study.

In brief, the main concept of the book is that a woman can be divided into two types of qualities, the human, and the angelic. 

Understanding the two sides to femininity and bringing them together as a whole will result in becoming a truly balanced, charming, lovable woman.

To get the most out of my mini-course, start with the sub-category “Your Human Qualities”, then move through “Your Angelic Qualities.”  Don’t forget to comment your success stories as you go! 🙂

Fascinating You- Your Human Side Vs. Your Angelic Side

As we look again at the Feminine Ideal, taken from “Fascinating Womanhood”, we see that a woman can be split into two categories.  The first is her angelic side, the second her human.  Since it’s easiest to start with the human characteristics, we began with those.  Notice that femininity, radiating happiness, having a fresh appearance and manner, and childlikeness can all be described as behaviors.  This is the person you ACT like.  These are the qualities that you use to charm friends and admirers with.  You will be a breath of fresh air if you develope these traits.  You will capture people’s fascination, as the title of this book implies.

Remember that in order for the human qualities to really work for your good, they have to actually be a part of who you are.  If you’re starting to feel a little like Gisselle from “Enchanted”, maybe that type of femininity and childlikeness aren’t right for you.  Try being feminine in a different way that is true to your nature.  Consider the difference in personality between Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe.  Complete opposites, and yet they were both feminine and childlike in their own way. 

You attract friends and suitors by being charming.  You keep their interest by being a good friend and proving yourself to be socially capable, which we’ll talk about later.  There’s a lot to keep track of when we’re trying to be our best, isn’t there?  Good thing that the behaviors and outward expressions of our human sides are relatively easy to change given time and practice.

If you want to keep a friend or lover forever, you’ll need more than social graces.  Human qualities might only require quick fixes here and there, but the angelic qualities take a lifetime to develop.  They are more than behaviors.  These characteristics represent the color of our souls, and are of the utmost importance.   This is the person you ARE, on the inside.  So we can expect that they’ll require more thought and energy than just, say, working on being more childlike.  Do people like and respect who you are?  Do you?

Remember that this whole “Feminine Ideal” thing isn’t just for the man in your life.  Certainly not.  He’ll likely fall more in love with you than ever, but the greatest good that can come of this is for you to fall in love with yourself.  You know when you’re someone other people are delighted to be around, but are you good company to yourself?

How do you feel about you when you’re all alone?

Are you uncomfortable in hours of self-reflection, because your beliefs disagree with your behaviors?  Do you grimace at the grouch in the mirror?  Self-love and self-respect are so essential to our happiness, working on our angelic side will always give us a lift.